THREE DAY WEEKEND YEAHHHHHHHH

Forgive me father, for I have sinned, it is 2 days since my lost blog!

Well, a rather strange week all round is coming to an end, and what an end it promises to be.

Firstly, I must thank the chaps and chapesses who have left me invaluable advice, ressuring me that the battle is half won, and that I should remember to check my flies.

Good advice all round.

Also, thanks to all my mates who were texting me WELL into the wee small hours commiserating Man Uniteds demise in Europes premier cup competition.

The swines.

I bumped into Sadie (for that is her name) the girl Im taking out Sunday, in the local hostelry last night, and we were flirting like two very flirty people for large portions of the night, so I am slightly less nervous now than I was a couple of days ago.

The night ended rather strangely however when her friend (who used to date on of my old pool playing chums) got SO MUNTERED she had to go home.
Somehow, I got the job of taking her home in a cab.
It cost me much cash, but I looked like a veritable knight in shining armour, so points gained methinks.

Work has been a bitch this week, no-one wants to part with cash before the bank hols, so if any of you crazies out there have a small businees to advertise, give me a shout!
Mates Rates apply to all those quoting this blog!

Saturday will see the Manchester Derby, so I will be prising my brother off his sofa and forcing the little hermit to the pub to partake in several beverages, then its off to Wolverhampton for a massive MASH-UP!!! (no pills, just Holsten Pills)

Then, Sunday.
OH GOD IM NERVOUS AGAIN NOW!!!!
I keep playing bizarre what if scenarios in my head.
Im so good at sabotaging myself its unreal.

Nearly died on my bike on the way home from work last night as well.
Coming up to a junction I applied the brakes. Alas,the brake cable snapped and I rolled to a sedate halt halfway across the road and in the path of an oncoming Citroen Saxo.

Fair play to the old duffer behind the wheel, not only was he sticking to the limit, but he also had decent reactions, which he demonstrated further by winding down his window and calling me a p**** in almost no time.

Bless the elderly.

Except the ones who will undoubtedly be doing their shopping in Morrisons at the same time as me on Saturday morning.

GOOD CHRIST they infuriate me.
Tootling around at 1 pace per hour, parking trolleys sideways, taking corners badly, skimming my ankles, walking along 3 abreast causing huge tailbacks, generally being in the way of the cheese or anything else I might want, CONSTANTLY asking me to pass them something off a high shelf (im over 6 foot, and too polite to say no) so that my shopping takes twice as long as it should.
AND THE WORST THING OF ALL!!!!!!
They congregate at the end of an aisle, 4 trolleys all skewiff, moaning about their corns, upset that their kids never come over, isnt the weather terrible? debating how much a packet of bacon has gone up in a week, and then, AND THEN they say; (and its making me angry now) STILL, CANT COMPLAIN!!!!!

WTF???

YES YOU CAN COMPLAIN!
you just did.
for ten minutes.
in my way.
deliberately not hearing me asking you to 'excuse me' and forcing the next group of octegenarians to ram me in the base of the spine with their specially heightened OAP trollies.

GAH.
*breathes deeply*

Right, on that note, Id better go and sell some more advertising space, hope I dont sound too angry, although maybe that will scare them into buying it?

Updates after the weekend, not only on that, but also how many old ladies I slay, and, importantly enough, MY DATE!!!!!

fingers crossed all.

Till then, stay safe, and stay Unstable.